To Those Struggling With Friendships
I had the most amazing birthday week. Took last week to enjoy some time having an awesome birthday fun with friends and family. I can’t wait to share about life at 25! I feel old haha. Today I wanted to talk about something that has been on my heart for the past few months. FRIENDSHIP. I think it’s such a tough topic to talk about because we all go through different situations with friends.
I wanted to write this post for the girls, women, and even guys who are questioning friendships and relationships. I feel that I know a lot people who are going through the same and wanted to share my perspective on it. I wanted to talk about my past with friendships and how I am dealing with it now.
A lot has changed since I was in high school. We try to make friends with everyone and the number of friends matter more than the value of the friendship. But it’s fine because we’re young and dumb haha. As the years have gone by, you lose contact with some, realize you have nothing in common with others, and then you realize that you have 3 high school friends left and those are the ones that truly matter.
With college, I did most schooling online so i didn’t get to meet many people on campus. I am so thankful for jobs that have put awesome people in my path and also for my church that has put so many amazing best friends in my life. Now i look at and laugh at my young self for caring so much about the numbers back then when in the end, it’s all about the bonds you have built.
With being 25, i see some of friendships changing, some ending, and some blossoming into the greatest friendships. At first, i didn’t take some of those friendships ending so well. It was a mental and emotional battle of asking myself “what did i do wrong?” Or “did i not try hard enough?”. I’ve cried, got angry and mad, blamed myself, blamed others and finally learned that it’s really okay. I do my best as a friend to reach out to see how a person is doing and if we could hang out. We are adults, WE ARE ALL BUSY. Most of us have full time jobs, some of us are in school, and some are even raising a family. It is okay to not see each other every week/biweekly/month.
So when is it okay to slowly back out of a persons life when they aren’t reciprocating back? For everyone, the amount of time is different. I’ve spent months chasing after friends who don’t answer, answer once then disappear, and friends who don’t even text me after months of not speaking. Hey, it’s fine honestly. We all drift apart differently and some of us are even at different points in life. It’s all okay. Just don’t be surprised when the people who chased after you just stop all the sudden.
It’s okay to think what happened or what went wrong, it’s human nature. Just remember that every person in our lives are meant to be there. God will remove those who aren’t and keep those who are. It took a while for me to come to terms with this but it feels great to finally be able to move on. I am surrounded by amazing friends who i talk with weekly/monthly. We don’t need to speak everyday, we are all so busy trying to figure out this crazy thing called life.
So here’s to not wasting time on people who don’t reciprocate the love or time. & hey don’t forget that you are important as well. Find a group of friends who empower you, love on you, and enjoy doing life by your side. Happy Tuesday!