Back to the things I love…

It’s been a while since I shared any update on life on my blog. I honestly don’t know how I ended up on my blog last night reminiscing but I was reading some old blog post and it just felt like it was time for me to get back. Blogging best way for me to document my life and formulate my feelings. So here we are.

Last update I shared was our fertility update number 2 which feels like many moons ago. Honestly it feels like a very different version of me as well. We have gone through so much since that last blog post almost two years ago. Our marriage went through many changes, friendships went through rough patches, new friendships blossomed, and I grew a lot as a whole. We did one year of trying on our own. Then a year with a specialist that led to surgery of my uterus, two medicated cycles and our first IUI. All which had failed. I was angry, sad, depressed, and of course holding it all in. I felt like a failure to myself and to my marriage. This was my job as a woman, to be able to carry a baby to complete our family. At least these were my feelings then. I won’t say these feelings are completely gone but creep in when I’m at my lowest.

It was HARD. I had pregnancy announcements from family and friends and it just felt like too much to deal with. I felt like I was drowning while everyone was announcing they were pregnant. But that’s life right? Everything continues on while you feel stuck in your pain.

Earlier this year I went to visit a specialist in NYC and was diagnosed with endometriosis. Shocked but also relieved that we have somewhat answers. Relived but also sad because I knew how hard it was for women how have endo to conceive naturally. I think that news broke me in a whole new way but it just made us realize that maybe right now wasn’t our time. When we are ready and God allows it, we will move right to IVF.

Aside from infertility, we had an amazing year. We traveled to 6 new countries which were Japan, Switzerland, Lichtenstein, Austria, Czech Republic, and Guatemala. We moved back to Jersey to spend the summer at shore and it was incredible. We caught up with friends and made new memories. I also really got into running this year and qualified for the 2024 NYC Marathon. Ran many many races this year and had the best time. Now we are back in ATL to finish the year and for hubby to start training on a brand new plane.

My family welcomed my niece who I felt like was like my saving grace after such an emotional year. She brought so much joy to my life the last year and honestly helped fill my void of not having my own child. It also made me happy to be able to dedicate time with her and my sister when I go and visit. We also all became Disney annual passholders which has been so exciting to take my niece every time I’m back in FL and create those memories that we created when my sister and I were little.

So here we are almost at the end of 2023 and our 3 year infertility mark with no plans in sight. We decided to take a break in 2023 after I was diagnosed with endometriosis. And to be honest, we will most likely continue that break in 2024. I am at the part of my life where God has me content with where we are, something I have prayed for ever since we found out that getting pregnant would not be so easy for us. It took a while to get here but God has us here for a reason and we will enjoy it because we know God is in control and there is reason for everything he does.

I would love to slowly comeback and document more of our journey, marathon training, marriage and just life in general. I get such joy from writing even little updates about life. My blog was my first baby. I hope you enjoyed reading my jumbled thoughts. Don’t forget to follow me on social where you can follow me along this crazy life.

XOXO MB